*Cue the Blues Clues mailtime theme song*
Whilst reading A World Without Whom this week, Emmy J. Favilla provided food for thought. How serious are you about writing and email? Does your language differ depending on whom your recipient is? What’s your go-to greeting? What’s your go-to signature? Do you still have that automatic signature that you made when you were 12 that is mildly inappropriate?
Here’s my signature I used from age 12–16:
Also, let’s not acknowledge the fact that I send professional emails with my profile being a picture of me drinking 1 liter of beer. I developed a little bit of a drinking habit in Germany, okay? Geez…
Favilla provided about 89 examples of greeting and signatures with an interpretation of each. Honestly, she could create a “What Kind of Person Are You Based Off Your Email Greetings and Signatures?” quiz and have it blow up. If you’re curious, check out pages 301–308 of her book.
Favilla advises to keep your emails easy-peasy and to the point. She says, “Just start your message off with ‘Hi [name of recipient]’, say what you came to say, and end it with your name.” If you’re applying for a job, go with “Dear [Mr./Mrs./Mx. + surname]” (p. 301).
To put this into practice, I’m going to share a previously sent email and we’ll decide how to make it better!
This is an email I sent before graduating high school to the Weber State music program regarding a piano scholarship I wanted to audition for. The text is small (and I’m not tech-savvy), so I’ll retype it below:
“Hello,
My name is Sarah and I’m planning to audition for a scholarship under the piano category. I have looked on the Weber State website and it told be to fill out an information form and then turn it back in. However, I haven’t found any form, and was wondering if you could direct me to it? That would be wonderful!
Also, I do with to schedule a time for my audition. I believe I am supposed to inquire you about it.
Thank you so much for your time!
-Sarah D’Asto”
For my greeting, I used “hello,” and I signed with a gratuitous “thank you” and my full name.
Mrs. Yang was the recipient’s name. Because she is a professor, I want to keep the respect of her title. Instead of a simple, “hello,” I should consider using, “Dear Professor Yang,” or simply, “Professor Yang.”
She did take the time to read my email, but I feel like that would be more prevalent if I actually took time out of her schedule to physically meet with her. I do want to keep my genuine appreciation for helping me with such matters, so I will consider using, “Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you.”
I won’t change the full signing of my name.
The body of my email is a little wordy and heavily written in a passive voice. I might consider taking out filler words and trimming down the overall message. With my new greeting and signature, my email should look something like this:
Dear Professor Yang,
I will be auditioning for the WSU Piano Scholarship in February and would like to schedule a time for my audition. I’m aware that I need to submit a scholarship application form before I can make an appointment, but I’m having difficulties finding it on the WSU website and would greatly appreciate your help.
Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you.
-Sarah D’Asto
What do you think? Could I improve in an area? How do you write emails? Do they differ when writing to close relations, acquaintances, or coworkers/manager? Consider adopting a format that is respectful, gets the point, and won’t take hours to write.
Until next week!
~Servus~
A World without “Whom”: the Essential Guide to Language in the Buzzfeed Age, by Emmy Favilla, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2019, p. 301
